Nights

Nights are liberating.

Nights are peaceful.

The mask fades.

The energy returns.

The world dies.

And I’m reborn.

My mind changes.

My nerves fire.

I can be me.

When no one sees me.

I can be stupid.

I can be a fool.

Ponder over things.

That I think are cool.

I go out and hear the silence.

See how vulnerable they all are.

Lost in their sleep.

They loose all their power.

And I’m standing there.

Avoiding my nightmares.

Acting all powerful.

Like I’m some God.

But God hates me.

He makes time go fast.

And no matter how hard I try.

I fail to make these nights last.

My heart craves.

For an eternal night.

Where everyone’s dead.

Once and for all.

The sun’s rising .

And I should die.

For a while.

The zombies are awake.

Brushing their teeth.

Chattering like shit.

Going through their lives.

Like they’ve been.

All their life.

Faking a smile.

Deluding their minds.

Lost in the pretense.

Unaware of themselves.

But who am I.

To say this all.

For the universe doesn’t care.

If I rise or fall.

And when I really think.

Maybe the zombie is me.

Cutting my thorns.

To suit their needs.

The Sun’s up .

And I’m down.

But I’ll be up.

Minutes from now.

Because I’m bound.

Bound to this world.

I may hate them.

But perhaps I’m a zombie too.

But it’s hard for me.

To be like them.

But I do it anyway.

Because I’m a hero.

My own hero.

The hero.

Who I believe.

Can do anything he wants to.

I fake a smile.

I fake a laugh.

Fake a conversation.

And try small talk.

But being them drains me.

For it is not me.

My eyes get heavy.

But I keep them open.

Or they’ll see.

That I’m foreign.

I must admit.

I fear judgement.

I really do.

For they’ll declare.

That I am wrong.

For this reason.

I bribe them.

With my words.

With my actions.

With my kindness.

With my company.

And then they smile.

And my heart’s relieved.

But my cells tired.

But I endure it all.

The Sun’s falling.

And the people hiding.

The light goes.

The darkness arrives.

The temperature falls.

And my mask dissolves.

My reward’s here.

Another night.

My lips go wide.

For I’ll be revived.

They’re gone.

Dead again.

And I’m awake.

My heart cries.

Not with sorrow.

But with joy.

For it survived.

Another day.

And finally.

Another night.

Is here to stay.

Or maybe not.

’Cause God’s still there.

Playing this game.

But I do not care.

For I have paid.

Paid the price.

For this short night.

And I’m happy.

Happy again.

Because with them dead.

I am alive.

The stars are cheering.

And the Moon is smiling.

’Cause they know me better.

Better than these earthlings.

I go out.

And feel the silence.

These are my nights.

I live for them.

I go through days for them.

Pretend to be like others for them.

And I really hope.

When I finally close my eyes.

It’s a beautiful cold dark night.

Rather than a well lit warm heavenly sky.

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